Intelligency

I was born intelligent, but the school has ruined me!

Sending

She sends him a text message:
- My favorite, if you're sleeping send me your dreams, if you smile, send me your smile, if you cry, send me your tears. I love you!
He answes her:
- I'm sitting on the toilet. What do you want me to send?

Transvestite

Son comes to mom and asks, Mommy, Mommy, what's a transvestite?
She says: I do not know, son, there's your dad in the room, go and ask her.

Glasses

Blonde enters the store and asks:-Do you have glasses? - For the sun? She answers: Oh, nope, for me.

One for free

Blonde came into the store and sees the inscription - You buy two, the third free. She comes to the cash register and say - I will take this third for free.

What is the diference between your country and your wife?- You defend your country from enemies and your wife from your friends. :)

What is good thing in a bad thing? -when your wife tells you that you have the bigest cock in the village. :D