Cedevita

I do not know how to cook, but when i make Cedevita,i kick ass...

What a fool...:)

Jeez, this fool does not know that the Eiffel Tower is in Croatia!!

Our politicians

we eat cheese with holes ... we have cell phone without buttons ... we drive a car without a roof ... LONG LIVE THE RECESSION!!! :)

True

Love is in the countryside, but in the city are orgy.

The best joke in universe

Yesterday I was drinking with the Russians - I almost died. Today I drank with Croats - better that I died yesterday

What is the diference between your country and your wife?- You defend your country from enemies and your wife from your friends. :)

What is good thing in a bad thing? -when your wife tells you that you have the bigest cock in the village. :D

Croatian Policeman

Croatian Policeman comes home and finds his wife naked in a bed. "I knew it! Where is he! I m going to kill you and him when I find him!" he shouts. He looks in the closet,nothing, looks in the bathroom,no one there,"I LL FIND YOU!!" he shouted, in the kitchen,in the livingroom, nothing. Finlly Policama looks under the bed and he see man holding a 100 dollars. "Damn!!, nothing under bed too but I ll find him" he said while taking the money.

Croatian names

CRO NAMES TRANSLATED BOY'S NAMES Branimir - Protect and peace Domagoj - Raised at home Dubravko - Deep ravs (one for car enthusiasts) Hrvoje - I'm Cro oi! (Croatia's version of Aussie, Aussie Aussie, oi, oi, oi) Krešimir - Creche and peace? Lovro - Love rowing? Mijo - Inspired by rappers "Who Me Yo" Mutimir - Quiet and peace the reverse of peace and quiet Ratimir - War and Peace Slaven - South end Sreten - Happy Trpimir - Patience and peace Velimir - Doing well and peace Vladko - To vladat is to be boss so its "Boss who?" or "Who's the Boss?" Vjekoslav - Age and south Zlatko - Gold who? or Who's Gold Zvonimir - Ring in peace Zvonko - The ringer or who is the ringer? or can be The Bell or Who is the Bell? GIRL'S NAMES Zlata - Gold Zora - Sunrise Višnja - Cherry Jagoda - Strawberry Ruža - Flower

Croatian dictionarry

DIRECT CROATIAN TO ENGLISH TRANSLATIONS Mnogo sam se sekirao = I axed myself very much Pricam sam sa sobom = I am talking alone with the room Racunaj na mene = Calculate on me Sta ima? = What has? Ko te sljivi = Who plums you Zasto da ne = Why yes no Malo sutra = A little bit tomorrow Dva jaja na oko = Two eggs on eye Kad bih imao samo malo vise vremena = If I only had a little more weather Ona je u drugom stanju = She is in second stage Na licu mjesta = On the face of the place Preveo ga zednog preko vode = He translated him thirsty across the water Pucali smo od smijeha = We were shooting from laughter Iz cista mira = Out of clean peace Blago tebi = Treasure to you Sve sto je izgubljeno moze se povratiti = Everything that is lost can be thrown up Pop-pjevac = Priest-singer Sve je gore i gore = Everything is up and up Znam te koko dok si jaje bila = Chicken, i knew you while you were an egg Kud puklo da puklo = Where cracked yes cracked Ko o cemu, baba o ustipcima = Who about what, grandma about doughnuts Vidjela zaba da se konji kuju pa i ona digla nogu = A frog had seen that horses were getting shoed, so she too lifted a leg Zivi bili pa vidjeli = Let's be alive, and we'll see Otis'o si, sarmu probo nisi = You've left before you tried stuffed cabbage

Croatian-terrorists

10 Reasons Why CROATIANS Can't Be Terrorists 10. 8:45am is too early for us to be up. 9. We are always late, we would have missed all 4 flights. (Croatians are in their own time zone) 8. Pretty people on the plane distract us. (anything distracts us) 7. We would talk loudly and bring attention to ourselves. (cursing everyone who is not Croatian) 6. Food and drinks were on the plane. (We would be dancing kolo or singing GANGE because we only drink rakija & Spek) and roast pig might take a bit longer to roast at 40000 feet. (mind you we eat anything) of course we would pack our own meals. 5. We talk with our hands, we would have put our weapons down. 4. We would all want to fly the plane. 3. We would argue and start a fight in the plane.!!!!!!!!! (and fight the entire time) cursing each other's relatives back 700 generations. 2. We would have put the CROATIAN flag on the windshield. (and have to paint the entire plane red, white and blue of course not leaving out the checkers)... 1. We would have told everyone a week before doing it. (and asking them to watch and tape the news brief for us) Therefore we would not be good terrorists.